
+Last weekend we went to the Utah Museum of Fine Arts. It was nice but I was a little... stressed out because the child wanted to be free to roam.
+Winter can be so difficult.
The days are shorter, darker. Christmas brings a warmth that makes it feel cozy. But every year, when Christmas comes and goes, I seem to be overwhelmed by the darkness. My pictures look terrible because of the lack of sunshine so I let the camera collect dust. It is easy to stay inside all day every day. Even Millicent seems to feel the pressure that the cabin fever puts on our souls.
+I have been thinking about what I want to do this coming year. There is so much that has been inspiring me and making me think and plan. Part of me wants to be realistic but another part of me wants to just go for it, even if it doesn't turn out how I plan, as is usually the case.
+Billy gave me a flash for our camera for Christmas. You know, so we can take better pictures indoors, at night, when the (preferred) natural light option is not realistic. I was reading the manual and felt completely overwhelmed. That happens a lot, you know. That is why I could never pick out a camera in the first place. Too many options. Too many opinions.
+I feel as though my life has been completely turned upside down. Millie is crawling everywhere and trying to eat everything and always wants to be held while simultanously wanting to be free to roam. I struggle cleaning and thinking and doing just about anything.
+In my last semester of college, I took a yoga class. I hated it which was really sad because I liked the idea of yoga. It could have been the instructor or maybe just the fact that it was at 7:30am on Mondays and Wednesdays but I could never focus enough to make it feel like it did me any good. But last night I went to a yoga class right here in what I once deemed "charmless Eagle Mountain," taught by my neighbor, friend, and go-to garden guru. And I LOVEd it. I tried really hard not to think about whether or not Millie was being good for Billy or that it had been so long since I actively did yoga that even the most basic (down dog) poses were difficult or that every time I looked in the mirror I was slightly embarrassed. I just took deep breaths letting the air swirl around inside my body and as it released, I let it take all the pressure and negativity with it. I felt happier, healthier, more clear, and less weighed down.
+I have never been much of a morning person. But I really want to be. And yet, as I write this, it is midnight. Blah. But you know, this is the time that I have. Nothing to demand my attention and no one to take care of. So I sit here while the house sleeps, writing out my thoughts and ideas and getting them a little closer to being put into action. I feels exciting, even if I know that tomorrow I am going to regret staying up so late.