darling duckie

cousins

A few months ago we took some pictures of Millie with her cousin Barrett. They were so funny together, although Millie would not smile.

 

Lately on "We Are Women"

There have been some new things on the We Are Women blog. You should had on over and check them out!

I wrote about my bad habits and then followed up on what I have been doing to STOP them!

Last month was Women's History month so I wrote about a few of the people who helped shape me.

Allie has shared her struggle with depression and so much more!

lately

Well... lately as in the last month or so.

+We went to the Springville Museum of Art. Always good. We love it there. And Millie loves to push the stroller around.

+We have been going on lots of walks. Sometimes a few a day. And Millie loves when she can do all the walking.

+Her favorite hiding place.

+The birthday Dunford donut. Yum.

+And the birthday cake. She ate it so delicately. One pinch at a time.

on the day she was born

I had stayed awake far too late. My body must have known, choosing to go into labor only a few hours after I had finally shut my eyes.

I was told that I would know when labor started. But I didn't really know what was going on. I just had a stomach ache. Maybe it took a while to make the connection because my brain was still trying desperately to sleep. I pulled my phone out and timed each stomach ache. Sure enough the pains had a pattern. They were far enough apart that I would just sleep for the 15 minutes inbetween.

I wanted Billy to wake up, to comfort me, but he slept through it all. Lucky to be a man.

The preparation for this experience had been very minimal. And when it was all happening, I was more frightened than I had realized. I was scared of what it meant to go through labor, to push a child out, to recover. I was scared because I had only ever held a few newborns before. There would be no passing her on to my sisters when she would cry. Billy had held even less.

Quite the pair we were.

Then there was the terror of the pain I felt and the pain I would feel. I fought each contraction, which made each one more painful. Silently I prayed that this was it because if it was going to be worse than this, I didn't want to even try.

Hours later the decision was made. We would have a c-section. It was the way it needed to be. To say that all the work from then on out was easy would be a flat out lie. The only thing that kept me from passing out or becoming uncontrollably hysterical was knowing that Billy was right there, holding my hand and reminding me to breath. Laying on my back, arms strapped, I would look him in the eyes. He was calm, quiet. I knew that he would not leave me. Then I would close my eyes, reminding myself "breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out."

As they pulled her out, with a faint little cry, she was born. She was tired and worn from the journey and so was I. She calmly waited as they weighed and measured and cleaned. All the while I lay on the table, looking up at Billy, both of us with tears in our eyes.

We had done it. We had created, suffered, survived, and now been rewarded with a little soul to love.

guess who

Guess who turns one tomorrow??

She has been talking about it all week.

happy birthday dr. seuss

I remember very little of preschool, except everything was very colorful and either I was bad at sharing or some of the other kids were... because I remember a couple little brawls I was involved in.

One memory really stands out though. I remember exactly how I felt. And what happened, according to my four year old eyes.

It was Dr. Seuss day, possibly even his birthday (that would make it 21 years ago TO THE DAY). We possibly did many activities and read many books but I know that we read Green Eggs and Ham. I sat and giggled along with my other little peers. How silly of the nameless man to not even try it.

After the story our teachers brought out their own green eggs and ham to share with the class.

I remember it clearly. Sitting. Looking at that plate with what seemed to be eggs of green ooze and ham that looked questionable. It did not appeal to my four year old senses so I just refused to eat them. The teachers tried to explain that it would taste just fine but my eyes beheld only the oddness of the food in front of me. Out of frustration, the teachers declared that I was just trying to get attention by copying what the main character had done.

I promise. I wasn't. I really did not think it would taste good. Honestly. I remember it. I do.

They made me sit at the table until I ate it. All the other children were playing in the multi-colored wooden boxes while I sat at the table, green food untouched.

I am still a little hurt that no one believed me.

Even though I was scarred by the experience, I do love a good Dr. Suess book. My favorite? The Lorax.

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

We shall celebrate by reading all the Dr. Seuss books we have and we might even make up a few words, just for the fun of it.

One of my favorite book columnists wrote a little about Dr. Seuss and how he came to be. You can read the article here.

And, as always, HAPPY READING!

My Life in France: A Book In Review

"Good results require that one take time and care."

There are a couple of people that stand out in my memories of watching television while growing up: Bob Ross so effortlessly painting tree and birds and creating landscapes from nothing but a canvas and paint and Julia Child, with her distinct voice and her excitement for good food.

After reading Julia Child's memoir I have felt so inspired by her passion and determination to really learn. She was not always a cook. Her food did not always taste wonderful. But she loved food and her husband and worked oh so hard. And how inspiring was her relationship with Paul. They strengthen each other, supported each other, and were best friends. I love the picture above, where they sit side by side, working side by side. It is so romantic and (can I say it again??) INSPIRING!

Julia's memories and thoughts on her experiences really made me ask a few questions of myself:

Am I supporting my husband in the things he loves?

Do I really put effort in learning and growing?

What is it that motivates me, pushes me?

I really loved reading My Life In France. It was so different that I thought it would be and has changed me. (Plus every time I go to the DI I search out a copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking, which I have yet to find, though I did score Volume II for a couple of bucks.) A friend let me borrow Mastering the Art... so I could make a recipe of Julia's for book club. Though I don't know if it turned out how it was supposed to be, it was yummy and I learned so much about cooking just through that one recipe and perusing the book.

Now I want to wander market places and cook something delicious...

indulge me

...because these pictures where just too cute not to share.

Jane Eyre: A Book in Review

“The incident had occurred and was for me: it was an incident of no moment, no romance, no interest in a sense: yet it marked with change one single hour of a monotonous life.”

“No wonder you have rather the look of another world. I marveled where you had got that sort of face. When you came on me in Hay Lane last night, I thought unaccountably of fairy tales, and had half a mind to demand whether you had bewitched my horse: I am not sure yet.”

I used to believe to be able to truly call myself a reader I had to be a fast reader. Read multiple books every month. Remember all the details. So when it took me over a year to finish Jane Eyre, Iwas a little bit ashamed. But truth be told, I am a slow reader. Well, I am medium. Not slow. Just slower than some. And that is alright, isn't it? I can still call myself a reader, right?

And I don't want you to think any of it is Ms. Eyre's fault. She kept me company through pregnancy doctor visits and entertained me with witty commentary through long drives and late nights. She even sat with me through those hard months after Millie was born.

That Ms. Eyre, she is a loyal friend.

And I loved her. I love her for standing up to what she believes in and doing it even when it meant giving her chance at love up. It is so much more than a love story but such a unique love story too.

One of my favorite parts?

“Who in the world cares for you? Or who will be injured by what you do?

“I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself. I will keep the law given by God. … Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation: they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigour … If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would be their worth? They have a worth—so I have always believed. … Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations, are all I have at this hour to stand by: there I plant my foot.”

Sometimes characters in books are referred to as heroines or heros but they lack the qualities that entitle one to such a name. But Jane really is a heroine. She has courage and self respect.

This is a great book, well worth the time and effort I put towards reading it. (It probably won't take you as long, I promise. Read it. Really.)

Plus, sometimes I wish we could speak how they spoke, eh?

“ere long I found you full of strange contrasts.”

“there was a pleasurable illumination in your eye occasionally”

“for with him I was at perfect ease, because I knew I suited him”

“in his presence I thoroughly lived; and he lived in mine.”

Wonderful.

If you are frightened of classics and whether or not you will be able to read them, start with Jane Eyre.  With an exciting storyline and gothic style, it will surely become a favorite of yours.

If you love Jane Eyre and are looking for another book to satisfy that particular craving, I would highly recommend reading The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield. Even if you don't like Jane Eyre or you have never read it, The Thriteenth Tale is a great book. 

never just a mom

 

 

Just Moms by Ash Leishman

I have a friend who makes documentaries. (Doesn't that sound cool? I believe that just by knowing her my coolness factor increases several notches.) She has traveled the world working on them.

A few months ago she came over and spent the day with the child and me. She followed us around on our walk and watched us read together all the while she asked me questions about being a mom. It was still so new and raw that my thoughts kept going back to how hard it is. But every time I watch this movie I remember how much I love being Millie's mum. It doesn't mean it's not hard anymore but I am more in love with that little girl now and am so happy that she is mine. And you know what? It is easy to see how much Millie has grown and changed physically since this was shot. But what really stands out to me is how much I have changed. For the better. And it is all thanks to Millie.

So thank you, Ashley, for letting me be a part of your project and giving me tangible evidence that I really have grown and that I truly love being a mom.

 

Ash Leishman is busy revamping her professional life so for now you can see more of here work here. And she did our family pictures here.